the CAT as metaphor

My sister-in-law is a cat lover, and one of the things she liked about cats was that when she went on holiday, she felt it was entirely acceptable to have the cats confined in a small pen, such as catteries provide, for several weeks. Cats, she said, are perfectly happy, because they like to sleep all the time.


Of course, there are big cats, too, like lions and such, but if you have watched the 'lions of the serengeti' (and if you are British, and if you watch TV on Sundays, you can hardly have missed them), you will know how much lions like to lie around.


This sort of behaviour is VERY FELINE, so, cats are a good metaphor for the desire to spend a lot of time sleeping, or basically lieing around doing nothing. A 'domestic cat' might suggest a reluctance to do domestic chores!


However, there are other attributes that cats have. (as I write, I am very aware that running through my head is the contrast of the behaviour of dogs, and, the world does tend to be split between those who prefer cats and those who prefer dogs!) And, of course, there are big distinctions between domestic cats, say, and lions, and then there are cheetahs which are different again.


So, the other main attribute I associate with cats is their INDEPENDENCE. While dogs are attached to people and other dogs, cats are attached to PLACE.


Then, one other thing comes to mind, and that is that 'catty', when used to describe a person, generally means they have 'a sharp tongue', and they use their tongue like a cat uses its claws.

The World of War

I have talked, in an earlier blog, in praise of video games, or at least, in praise of one series of games, the Final Fantasy series. I am well aware that, in our open-minded, classless society, video games rank low, something regretable that the kids do when you'd rather they were reading a good book!


The genre of games that I particularly enjoy comes in for particular disaproval, on grounds of violence and blood-thirstyness. These are role-play, and adventure games, and they are usually very difficult to play, but, by golly, you do not know what you are missing! At the simplest of levels, they have everything that a good adventure film has (seen PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN, or such classics as APOCALYPSE NOW, or SCHINDLER'S LIST?) and a lot more .... and considering the films I have just put behind parenthesis, I am inspired to point out to violence-objectors that I have not yet encountered a game that takes liesure to linger on cruelty and torture the way many films, such as the last mentioned above, that purport to be doing humanity a service, so often love to do ... video games tend to be more Monty python: 'and the blood goes pshhhh' than high-brow.


However, what I had in mind when I began this blog was to point out that the most reputable, and acceptable, and everyone-would-like-to-be-good-at-it game in the world, ie CHESS, is a WAR GAME. Just because it was invented before there were such graffic ways of depicting the battles makes it none the less a game of war, imbued with the psychology and values of war, and if you do not know that, then you will never be a good chess player ... never better than a computer that can memorise the rules, but does not understand the game. I speak here from experience. I struggled for years with chess, always feeling a complete duffer, then I discovered that it is a war game, and suddenly the lights came on .... ah, so that is what it is about: you marshal your forces to defend your king, and attack mine, and I marshal mine etc. Knowing what the game is about allows you to sit back and get a perspective on it, so that you are not playing move-by-move, move and counter-move, you are playing by strategy, so, eg, you might decide that 'attack is the best method of defence' and make that your strategy, or you might play a defensive game, etc and notice that the game now includes such skills as 'risk taking' and so on, battle skills.


So is it so bad that the kids are playing games that develop all the skills that chess does and lots more besides? Yeah, your right, 'video games' doesn't look as good as 'chess' on the CV!

My Favourite Things

I thought I would like to write a little eulogy to three of my most favourite things:

THE RING OF THE NIBELUNG

LORD OF THE RINGS

FINAL FANTASY

In general terms, the reason I so like these things is their richness. That richness actually derives from the way they have been created: they have all been evolved from earlier creations. This is most evident in the relationship between Lord of the Rings, and its predecessor, The Ring of the Nibelung. These two have their roots in Norse and Germanic mythology. Final Fantasy( this is a video game) is less focused. Being Japanese, much of the source mythology is oriental, as is the 'aura', and the humour.

Watching Wagner's opera, of course, there is the visual splendour of a traditionally staged version of the work --- it is a feast for the eyes. And when I talk of richness, that is what I mean: all of these are like huge banquets, feasts for every human faculty, the senses, the intellect, the feelings, the imagination --- but, to return to Wagner: The music, of course, is to die for. That long, repetitive build up of a simple theme that introduces the underwater world of the Rhine-maidens in the first opera; the insistent, repetitve beat that accompanies the hammering of the dwarves; and Siegfried's Theme in the last opera, that magnificent, Beethoven-esque glorification.

And the mythology tickles so. Some of it is understandable, some leaves one mystified, with something to mull over --- well, endlessly, I suppose. Will I ever be able to unravell the intricacies of that story?

I love Wotan, the Grey Wanderer, who, of course, re-appears as Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. Someone who loves travelling cannot but be taken with Wotan. And I love the fixes he gets himself into, and, like someone tangled in a net, the more he struggles to get free, the more entangled he gets.

And that leads to the whole POWER STUGGLE theme. Central, of course, to both Tolkein's and Wagner's work is the 'Ring of Power' .... interpret 'ring' as the 'ring' in 'ring of a bell' ... oh,yes, POWER does have a wonderfully attractive, often mesmerising 'ring' to it, so much so that people who succumb to the allure, even if they do achieve power of some sort, in fact become slaves to the 'ring'! This is why the rings of Sauron and of the Nibelung are so tricky to handle.

Taking it a bit further, and looking at what power got Sauron: a blasted, scorched, filthy desert of a country peopled by filthy, ugly, treacherous creatures, and you have to recognise that it is not much of an advert for the joys of power! The thing is, that it is so often so tempting to think that the answer to many of one's problems is to 'take control' of a situation, to 'tell other people what to do'. Like the commander of an army: yes, at one level, the quick and easy way to get the troops into line and a force up against whatever enemy is on the horizon, is just to 'take command'. But even in our armed forces, it has been recognised that just treating the troops like they were machines, rather than human beings, just does not work well. And then consider animals: yes, you can just make them do what you want by beating them into submission, and the like, but they work a hell of a lot better for you if you treat them well. And that is the orcs that Sauron ends up surrounded by: any human or animal that is ill-used ends up becoming vicious, and, at a personal level, who wants to live surrounded by vicious people who would like nothing better than to take a bite out of one? And then, surround yourself by people like that, and after a while you end up believing that that is what people, all people, are like; that that is human nature. So you end up trapped in the world you have created. And then, if you believe that that is human nature, power, and more of it, becomes a matter of survival for you, and it gets so that life becomes all about, and only about, POWER, and then, psychologically speaking, instead of living in a garden full of sweet smelling and good-to-eat flowers and plants, one lives in a blackened and blasted desert of filth.

So, the theme of 'rings of power' and how tricky and treacherous they are is an extremely interesting one. But it carries on into another, traditionally puzzling character, that appears in the Nibelung: Loki. Loki is a mischievious creature, perhaps a spirit more than a god, and supposedly, like everyone else, under the authority of the chief god, Wotan. But, as one sees Wotan achieving his ends only through the help of the cunning ideas provided by Loki, and as one watches Loki playing with ideas, and 'teasing' Wotan, one cannot help questioning who has the REAL power? One cannot help but feel that if Loki wants to defy Wotan, he could very, very easily have done so, not by outright, in-your-face methods, but simply by outwitting him. Wotan rules Loki only if Loki lets him. All in all, one cannot escape the conclusion that the REAL power lies with Loki!

One cannot help making an association here with a character from quite another mythology: Ulysses. Ulysses, too, was a bit of a puzzle. He didn't play the part of the traditional Greek hero. Unlike Ajax, Achilles and the like, he went reluctantly to fight the Trojans, and he showed little interest in GLORY. In fact, one could say that he showed an embarassing lack of heroism and pride. Yet, like Loki, it was he that got things done, that, in the end, came up with the idea of the Trojan horse, and so was the REAL winner of the Trojan War.

The contradiction that these two characters embody, is that, the more you want it and work for it, the less power you actually end up with! It is by NOT chasing power, like Loki and Ulysses, that you actually end up being REALLY powerful. Power, it seems, goes to those who DO NOT WANT IT. It is not, in fact, such a mystery. It goes back to the diversity and complexity of the mind, and the natural world, and the LIMITATIONS OF THE SPECIALIST in such an environment. It is like that scene from 'Raiders of the Lost Arc', where Indiana Jones is confronted by an obviously expert swordsman who is so confident of his own abilities that he clearly does not doubt Jones demise is but seconds away. Jones roles his eyes, draws his pistol, and shoots the man before he even gets within sword range! Or there is the case of the martial arts expert who was floored by a crude punch from a fair-ground boxer ... simply because the experst was so highly trained IN HIS OWN ART, that he had not expected the move! This is the problem for specialists: there is always someone who has specialised in something else, or even an unpresictable non-specialist ... and there, I have just used the key-word: UNPREDICTABLE. Our world is unpredictable. It has to be or it would be hellish boring! An unpredictable world is not best approached with specialist training. So, when you make power your SPECIALITY, you leave yourself open to non-specialists, and those who can 'wing it', and thus, the pursuit of power is self-defeating, and thus, Loki and Ulysses, (and jacks-of-all-trades), who do not seek power, are the ones who end up BEING THE MOST POWERFUL. AND, they are SO powerful that they do not need to exercise power --- except when occasion demands, and then they often do so in such a way that it is not detectable.

Nor have I exhausted the theme of power as it appears in those two works yet, because they have this in common, too: GOTTERDAMERUNG, 'the Twilight of the Gods'. Wagner's ring cycle ends with the destruction of the gods ( which is, basically, what Wotan has been struggling to avoid all along), and Tolkien's novel ends with the 'dominion of man', that is, with the departure from Middle Earth of the Elves and Wizards, taking their magic and powers with them. In both works, it is the idea of entering a lesser, diminished age. Well, of course, it was the 'lesser' man, Ulysses that won the Trojan war, and, what is more, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE OF THE GREEKS THAT MADE IT HOME ... all the Greek heros went down in a storm and were drowned on the way home. So, the Trojan War was also a Gotterdamerung situation. These all speak of the triumph of the 'small man', of Loki, and the Hobbits (not to mention Tom Bombadil), and Ulysses; of the people who do not seek power, of the jack-of-all-trades, etc.

That just scratches the surface of what there is to explore in these works, but this blog is getting too long, so that will have to do, and I will move on to Final Fantasy, and make the connection with those previous two works through one of the main characters in Final Fantasy X: the character around whom the story revolves is known as a 'summoner' and is called Yuna ( the weakest and the most powerful character). Summoners are people (not generic to, or invented by, the FF people) who have the 'magic' ability to 'summon' other beings, spirits, to their aid. Yuna has the ability to summon a Yojimbo, a djinn, a Hindu deity, among others, to her aid when she wants. This ties Yuna in with Loki, and his ilk; metaphorically, a summoner is a jack-of-all-trades. If I am a jack-of-all-trades, then at one time I might take lessons from a samurai, then a kick-boxer, then from a gun fighter, and so on. Then, at need, I can call on the 'spirit' of the gun-fighter, or the samurai, or whatever suits best in the situation. Thus, I become a 'summoner'. Note that, in order for a samurai to take lessons from a gun-fighter, he has to be free of the sort of pride that says, 'I am the best, my subject is the best, and nothing else is worth knowing'. Of course, I talk here in fighting terms, because that is what these games deal with, but it can translate into all walks of life.

Well, this blog could go on forever, but I will just say one final thing about Final Fantasy: it offers the most brilliant and useful 'view' of human nature, and how the mind works, that I have ever encountered. Human beings are essentially defined by their abilities, and through every experience they hone their abilities and gain new abilities. It is a view of the human mind, not as a machine, but as a living, growing thing; something that learns as a matter if course, and is limited by nothing except lack of opportunity.

So, that scratches the surface of why I love: THE RING OF THE NIBELUNG, THE LORD OF THE RINGS, and FINAL FANTASY.

Paranoid voices for the use of

I have talked, just a little, about the VOICES!, and of how to get rid of them (mostly, I think, on joan-well.blogspot), but the best way to get rid of them, is to hear and understand and reply.

And, to reply you have to understand how to interpret, which is why this blog is on the dreams site.

From my own experience:
I had just one 'paranoid' episode, and very unpleasant it was too, especially since it came long before I had a snowflake's hope in hell of understanding what was going on --- and I use the word 'hell' advisedly .... you cannot begin to imagine the kind of hell that terribly forceful, evil voice can be till you experience it... but I digress...
There was one night when I got a voice that began by telling me that I must kill my sister, with whom I share a house. When I asked it why, it said she was going to kill me. And when I argued it just started in on the neighbours, my brother, my cousins, aunts (my parents escaped by having died already!) and, in fact, everyone I had ever had anything to do with, and then went even further to suggest a world takeover, him and I in the fight against evil, evil being the rest of the world. And his idea of solving the problem of evil, then amounting to 'backs against the wall', all of them.
That voice was insistent: it was me or them. The whole world out to kill me? Absolutely .... and the funny thing is that IT WAS RIGHT! And it took me years, but I finally did see that it was right and I KILLED, AND AM KILLING, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.

First, let me tell you how I killed my brother: when we were children, I, being a year younger than him, was afflicted with a sort of 'hero-worship', strong enough that when he laughed at my liking for sentimental music, for example, I gave up listening to it, justified giving up listening to it on various grounds, and starting trying to develop a taste for the kind of thing HE found acceptable. So, my brother killed a bit of me. Well, once you cotton on, it is easy enough to bring that bit of me back to life, and to kill my brother is to kill his influence over me.

So that is it really: by allowing other people to influence me against my own nature, I was allowing the world to kill me. And the remedy, at least in principle, is simple: stop letting the rest of the world dictate what it is permissable to like, dislike, say, do or whatever; kill the influence of the rest of the world.

More Praise for the Lesser Arts

In a previous blog, I expressed my enthusiasm for Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Magic Realism, Surrealism and the like. Last night I watched an old episode of a Sci-Fi series called STARGATE, which gives me an opportunity to demonstrate the metaphorical nature of these things.

The principle BADDIES in Stargate are a species of worm, called go'auld, that exist as parasites in the bodies of other host species, usually human. Naturally, the host is killed when the worm takes over its body.

I have talked in several of my other blogs (mostly in joan-well.blogspot.com) about the 'negative chattering voices' that intrude into us all, starting from birth (can you see where this is going yet?) Basically, our culture, science and (mostly) christianity, has created a sort of 'cutural stereotype' of a law abiding, morally upstanding sensitive(?) human being that we are all supposed to be or aspire to be. Conditioning/training starts from birth: the natural human being is starved, and the cultural stereotype is fattened up with flattery and rewards.

This cultural stereotype is AN ALIEN. It is not human. In fact, as I have talked of in other blogs, it is more akin to a computer than a real mind (the work of science here!). Thus, at birth, the embryo go'auld is implanted into the baby, and while the mind of the human infant is starved, the go'auld is fed and grows until, sometime I guess in adolescence, the go'auld takes over completely, and the last remnants of the natural human die.

So, how does that compare with your wonderful, insightful (!!??), literary masterpieces, Dickens, Tolstoy or Shakespeare? What you get from interpreting the metaphors of Sci-Fi and its kindred, are THE TRUTHS THAT LIE TOO DEEP FOR TAINT.


PS I love Dickens, Tolstoy (WAR AND PEACE is DEFINITELY better than GONE WITH THE WIND in my opinion), and Shakespeare .... I just don't look to them for any deep insights, much less TRUTH, about human, or any other, nature.

reading fortune cards

TRANSCRIPT OF FORTUNE CARD READING

Five cards are chosen from each of three packs and laid out with three cards at each of five positions: the four corners of a square, and one in the centre of the square. These are laid face down, and then turned over starting at the centre, then going North-west, SW, SE then NE, turning over all three cards at each position before going on to the next.

The participants are Susan (S), and myself, Joan (J).

S: 3 sets of cards, formation of five, one card in the middle, four on the outside.....'vision quest' cards.(naming the pack)
Yes, numero uno....Joan's picking them, and I'll pick one set or the other. I think this is for both of us.
J: mm
S: (sets out cards)--- now the 'vibes', which I think Joan will allow me to choose --- this is going to be a combined reading(the same set of cards read for both of us)--- it was 'on the cards'!!--- and to makers of cards everywhere, would you make your cards more accessible(cards are sticking). I'm laying each set of cards on top of the last set of cards.
(interlude while S shows me all the packs of cards she now possesses, which includes a set of 'angel' cards)... I saw that film about angels, Loki, and somebody else, Barnaby, couldn't get back into heaven. They were on earth for eternity. Loki isn't a god of mischief, he's more --- he shoots people, responsible for all sorts of ---
J: an assassin?
S: ...yes...and, Metatron comes down to earth, makes a grand entrance to this woman, but she doesn't believe he's an angel, but she doesn't have much choice --- he appears in flames in her bedroom! Y'know, he's got wings, and when she doesn't believe him, he says, "what the hell do you think these are?" He's the intermediary between God and the earth people.
It turns out that this woman is a long lost descendant of Jesus Christ, and she has to ....Loki....and the devil....you see, God comes down to earth from time to time, to sample life as a human, and the devil got wind of this and trapped him. God's in hospital at the moment, trapped in a human body, and the devil has sent ...unknown to Loki and Barnaby...sent them something that, once they interpret it, tells them how to get back into heaven. And, basically, Metatron is appearing to this woman because she has to stop them getting into heaven...I can't remember why. After a chase, where the devil is trying to stop the woman from stopping Loki and Barnaby getting back into heaven...she is successful in her mission, and the devil is rumbled and God gets out of hospital...
J: when did you watch this?
S: it was about 3 or 4 weeks ago...aye, it was when we first started talking about Loki.
J: so why has it come up today?
S: I don't know... oh, the angel cards. It's cause you mentioned the angel cards. I wasn'y using them, but I'm starting to use them a bit more now --- now I understand them a wee bit --- they have different names, but Metatron, I think, is in here.
J: so, in the film, Loki gets back into heaven?
S: No, he's prevented from getting back into heaven. And God cleans up the mess afterwards. God appears in her divine form. She's a singer. No, she's not a singer, but in reality she's Allana Morisset, or something. She doesn't say anything, but she cleans up the mess.
J: I think she should have been Tina Turner!
S: yes...."only the best"(singing)...but---just Metatron made me laugh. He was played for laughs much more obviously than the others. I don know whether the others were played for laughs or not. All Kickman does quite a good....
J: was he Metatron?
S: yes, hamming it up somewhat...
J: mmm
S: anyway. Third pack: the medicine cards. That time I just interpreted that heaven as going back to the way I was which poeple claim is heaven, the school and everything, you know.
J: oh, is that what...I mean you....
S: because I've been expressing concerns that I have been capitulating.
J: yes.
S: and trying to get back into heaven...in a sense, or, y'know, I'm scared that I'm....
J: what's going through my mind at the moment is that you....I mean, you've stopped talking out again.
S: yes.
J: ...as though YOU want to get back into heaven, and heaven is a place where YOU don't talk out. It's a...kind of like... peaceful, or something. It's 'out of this world' in a sense, isn't it? Heaven is detached from the world. You don't go into the staff-room, you don't go here, you don't go there. You don't get any contact with the rest of the world...which is very much heaven. I mean, heaven, nirvana, all of them are the same, all escape the world.
S: I don't see it in those terms, but yes.
J: and people basically do see heaven as escaping the world, because... and basically I think that is where most religions have got stopped...because they can't see beyond...in a sense it's kind of like your first route to being able to deal with things is detachment...and that's kind of like escaping the world...going to nirvana, heaven or whatever.
S: a retreat.
J: uh,hu. A retreat. But, after that, there is a step further on, which is 'making friends with your enemies', and then you come back to earth, and then you can have a life again, because you can deal with things, and it's 'heaven on earth'....ha,ha,ha...after heaven comes heaven-on-earth...that's a bit advanced. I don't think most religions, if any, have got their heads round that one, because,as I say, they all end up in heaven, which is away up there and detached from earth. And, basically, it's all about escaping life, whereas, the step beyond that, is that heaven is here on earth, you don't have to escape, you can have a life AND heaven. But that's making friends with your enemies and turning things into fun....
S: base metal into gold.
J: yes! of course, that's it. That's the philosopher's stone...the idea of turning base metal into gold. "Base! Base! No, no, I do like you after all!"...ha, ha, ha..."you have got your good points!"
S: ha,ha,ha....that's going to stick in my craw! (heavy sigh)
J: So, in the film, Loki, which is you, didn't get back into heaven?
S: no.no.
J: which, of course, is exactly what you don't want to do. And who stopped you, God?
S: no.
J: oh, it was that woman.
S: yes, she was related to, she was a descendant of Christ. Just before God left, she/he laid hands on the woman and made her pregnant ...that was the Virgin Mary as well...a modern Virgin Mary.
J: yes, it could be that...the female descendant of Christ, befause men don't really, I don't think...
S: ha,ha,ha (she has just turned over the first card) the very first card is CHAOS.
J: OK, let's get on with the reading.
S: ...the female descendent of Christ is what?
J: ...yea, I think, after....I mean, the male is very much ...men don't....are non-intuitive. They don't use intuition. It's all very much about logic, it's very much about reason, and it's very much about detachment. They don't engage in dialogue...you know...they're not communicating really...that's a very female role, intuition, communication, all those ideas about nurturing involve talking to people and finding out about them rather than, rather than about...y'know....whereas men are more interested in TELLING... I mean, Christ was preaching to people. A woman would not be leading from the front like that; she'd be leading from behind. She's nurturing growth of the individual... so, after Christ comes the woman,because, you need her to make friends with your enemies... and that's what would prevent you from getting back into heaven, of course, because your feminine side has not been very active. You said it sticks in your craw to be nice to..to..
S: but you're just sayin I don't want to get back into heaven.
J: no, not that heaven up there. You want to get into heaven-on-earth.
S: do I?
J: so, you didn't get into heaven up there because you have a female part which can allow you to engage properly with people on earth so that you can do all the things like leading-from-behind, and nurturing, and saying, "oh, arn't you wonderful!", to people that you think are prats.
S: CHAOS
J: it's the centre card.
S: the... is Loki... oh Lord! (reading from the book) 'upheaval, storm, abrupt change. Shedding of old values, concepts, concerns. Breaking away from restrictions. Walls tumbling within and without.' ... oh, for God's sake...'whether you want to or not, chaos will liberate you from the narrow confines that kept you safe but bound. Revolting against those fateful forces will only intensify your pain. Go with the flow instead of resisting it. The less you struggle, the easier these changes will become. Trust the forces of upheaval. Trust the internal, and possibly external, chaos that shakes up your life. Once the storm is passed, you will feel more free, awake and open. Remember, stars are born out of chaos. We only fear this power because we cannot control it. In reality, chaos is the raw material of transformation. Outward manifestation: Everything is up in the air. Inner inhibitions and outward restirctions collapse without warning. A highter force blasts away your self-imposed mental, and perhaps even tangible, prison walls. This may relate to a work situation that is no longer suitable for you.'
J: well, that's just what we are saying: your work situation where you won't talk to people is not suitable for you now. And then this Chaos, that's a burning forest (pointing out the design on the card)
S: is it?
J: looks like it to me.
S: oh, yes.
J: it's that whole idea... you need the forest fire to regenerate the forest. It's Shive, too, destruction and creation going hand-in-hand. So, very often change is accomplished, has to be accomplished, through some sort of conflagration.
S: sending them up in a puff of smoke!
J: or maybe, maybe ...I wonder... I wonder if this relates to Loki, the dragon. I mean, you have been a dragon, roasting people and all the rest of it.... there's a kind of chaos there, isn't there?
S: I wonder if there's an unpredictableness, because I don't think they know how I, you know....
J: yes, what I'm wondering is if it's related to what is going on at school in the sense that ....have you .... by going around roasting people, have you created chaos in their minds? So, maybe the forest fire isn't so much you, but it's the school. People have been really stirred up at the school now. They've started doing all sorts of things they were not doing before ...like talking out and taking risks.
S: yes, well, I think they are taking risks a wee bit, talking out a wee bit.
J: yes, that's what I'm saying, I'm repeating what you've told me: that people are behaving in uncharacteristic ways.
S: uh, hu. I'm trying to think of what other ways they are behaving uncharacteristically. Speaking out is one way....
J: well, that's the biggest one. That IS a big one ...when people have had their mouths zipped.... and then they start talking ... and communication is the highest ability. If you cannot communicate in this world, then you'll never be able to communicate with the Que. And communication, being able to talk to other people ... to be able to read another person's face, see what they are thinking and carry on a dialogue ... to be able to come out with all these words I am coming out with without having to actually pause and work it all out ... think about what I want to say and how best to say it, and still, at the same time, to be looking at you and observing how you are responding, are you understanding me, are you blah, blah, blah... that takes very, very high ability. Um, far higher than, obviously, any silly, mechanical computer could achieve ... y'know, it's way beyond that. It's the highest human ability, so if people at school are beginning to actually talk, use their voices, say what they think and then possibly ... say what you think and then you've GOT to think!!! And that's chaos. That will be causing chaos in their minds, because they ... y'know ... it's sort of like, they've been on a railway track and they've been going ...( makes train noises and hand movements illustrating a train moving along rails) ... suddenly someone's pushed them off the track ... agh! ... you've got choices to make! What direction are you going to go in ... that breeds chaos in your mind.
So I think it's not YOUR chaos, it's you blazing, you as Loki, as the dragon, and fire have created chaos in their minds. So that relates to your work situation.
S: so how does that relate to you?
J: maybe sending my thing all over the place is having the same effect on people ...ugh... what the hell's this about? Y'know, I mean, I'm firing my...
S: well FIRING, you've just used...
J: yeah, I've just used the word, haven't I? I'm firing my article off all over the place... on the nature of life, the universe and everything! And it does go through my mind to wonder what on earth they'll make of it. It's so, yeah...
S: right, there we are. Second card: 'walk it off'. Well, as that relates to me....
J: personally, I'm just going through a process at the moment .... pedantic, pedantic ... and I'm just very pedantically ... I mean, I'm dealing, as it were ... the other side of this is that I'm, and you, are dealing with .... I mean, you're talking about creating chaos at school, but from your own, personal point of view it's your own demons your dealing with ... and my demons are the academic establishment, you might say, and so, I'm rather pedantically just firing off ... y'know, I'm not even trying to write it up suitable for academic consumption. I'm doing it ... anyone and everyone, possibly including some members of the familly, if I get round to it I might send it to J or whatever. So I'm not re-writing it geared for different people, or anything. I'm just .... the accompanying email is ... y'know ... some of them are slightly cheeky, some of them are amusing, some of them are, what? ... and I haven't a clue how people are going to react to it. So I'm rather pedantically just looking for places I can fire it off to. And I guess it's kind of the same with you ... and it's discipline again ...pedantic implies a sort of .... uninspired discipline: just do it! get on, walk, walk, walk and go. And it's kind of like ... our suggestion that you should publish those two articles of mine as blogs, and, mmm?!? .... it's just kind of pedantic again ... just do it! Just, y'know ...um ... is that making sense?
S: yes. It just makes me think of 'walking tall'.
J: ah, that'll be it. Yes! That's it.
S: because it's just, em ... because I do ... well I'm not immune to disapproval ... expressions of disapproval at work.
J: Well, I think you've hit the nail on the head. Because why am I afraid of academics?
S: disapproval.
J: exactly. So I think, yeah, it's 'walking tall'. And it's learning to 'be yourself'. It reminds me of the other day, we had a crystal right in the middle there (referring to a previous card reading) and it was a crystal that stood on its own.
S: oh, yes.
J: Yes, that's what it's about... it's learning to stand up on your own ...
S: it just makes me think of mother and father when we were young, we watched that .... what was his name ... he was a singer ...
J: Val Doonican?
S: Aye, and he did WALK TALL. Mother and father liked his show.
J: aye, I remember. I liked it too ... the rocking chair and the knitted pullies!
S: I didn't. It wasn't my cup of tea at all. I didn't like WALK TALL, but I remember it.
J: the thing about Val Doonican, he was very genial. So, yeah, I think you've hit the button. It's WALK TALL ... because that's it ... for you and me ...
S: walk the walk
J: walk the walk, yes.
S: talk the walk? whatever it is ..
J: walk the walk and talk the talk, aye, whatever ...
S: aye, anyway, LOOK THE WORLD RIGHT IN THE EYE...
J: That's the thing! It's about being not afraid to be yourself, basically, and be .... PROUD OF IT! I'm a ... I'm a ... what is it? I'm a yid, a red sea pedestrian and I'm proud of it .... I was watching LIFE OF BRIAN the other day!
S: Finally, OTTER (turns over third of centre cards) Something you 'otter' do! 'Woman medicine'.
J: ah, that's what we were talking about, woman medicine, that's what I was saying about a female Christ.
S: medicine (reading from the book)'coquettes by the stream' ... well, I suppose that's going with the flow. Women tend to go with the flow more. 'Medicine held by otter is a set of lessons in female energy.
J: well, yes, if you're being and you're being an otter and you're talking to somebody, you let them lead the way. You don't sort of ... so you're very much ... it's like when you're dancing, of course, too, the man leads. When you're in conversation and playing the female part you let the man lead. Although it's very subtle, because often you're leading from behind, so they don't know your leading.
S: behind every great man ....
J: yes, a bit of a Gunga Din situation.
S: (reading)'if you have drawn this symbol, otter may be telling you to become a playful child, to simply allow things to unfold in your life. It may be time to stop your addiction to worrying! Otter also teaches the importance of not hanging onto things that would bind you or become a burden. Looking at how you might learn from otter's habits, you might look at the joyousness of the receptive side of your nature. Have you given yourself a gift recently? Have you received any messages in your meditations? Become otter and move gently into the river of life. Flow with the waters of the universe. This is the way of balanced female energy, honour it. In doing so, you will discoveer the power of woman.'
J: good, right, that's the centre one.
S: 6 of AIR (turning over first card of NW pile) CLARITY... well air is talking again, isn't it? in essence, clarity... 'intelligence, insight, creative vision, equanimity, inner balance, direct knowledge. The inner message is: the more you know yourself, the clearer your insights into your relationships become' ... well, in a way, that's walking tall ... know yourself, and ....
J: yeah ... but I think it kind of ... um ... it's like we were talking of yesterday ... getting rid of all, kind of, exterraneous, negative thoughts and feelings and things, however justified you may find them, because, you know yourself, that's getting rid of all intruders, basically. All the ideas and feelings and thoughts and things which you have been conditioned to think and feel, and are not actually coming from you, ah, yourself.
S: 'the more attention you pay to your own inner truth, the more loving your communications with others will be. Once you have stopped struggling with yourself, harmony and wisdom prevail. Outward manifestation: this is a great moment to gain clarity about a problematic situation. Confidently express your preferences in an important matter without becoming manipulative. Conflicts will be resolved as long as you are willing to be alert enought to remain true to your heart. By showing what values you cherish, and what is important to you, others find the courage to admit their truth.'
J: yeah, it kind of sounds a bit like ... yeah, I mean, it relates to dialogue a bit, in a way, doesn't it? As you were before, you were giving them a roasting and stuff.
S: bring back the good old days!
J: ... and it doesn't encourage people to tell you what they're thinking and feeling and stuff. If you go the female road, people talk to you, they tell you what's really going on and stuff. They don't feel threatened at all by you ... in a sense it's that .... what we were talking about with my writing, all you heard was the message, the contents .... a female in a dialogue with a man ... he doesn't actually 'see' you, he's just aware of the contents of the conversation. And under those circumstances, of course, there's no opposition there. You're puting the focus on what's being said, not on people. And so people don't feel threatened or anything and they talk much more freely. And I guess .... obviously it allows you ... obviously if you're not being confrontational, and you can talk under those circumstances without .... and this applies to me: I'm presenting my ideas to these academics. Now, if I come over as a man, all I'll do is get them drawing their swords and coming, y'know, into conflict with me, and trying to attack my ideas, If I present as a woman, they won't 'see' me, they'll just see the ideas. And therefore they will be receptive, or they will think about them. Um ... so ... by being female, I can actually express my ideas and don't get anybody trying to hit me, whereas, if I express my ideas in masculine mode, then they will try and hit me. Actually, by being femal, it allows me to express my ideas without anybody attacking me.
Next one..(card)
S: VIBE CHECK
J: of course, that applies to you, as well, at school. I mean, if your getting afraid to express yourself and speak out, it's because you've been so masculine in the past, that you do get ... well, that's what I was saying to you yesterday, again, Pete and Bob and that, they're responding to your masculine side. If you ask Bob about his mountaineering and you come from the female point of view, he'll talk freely and he won't get angry.
S: (reading)'as a 6th sensory person, it's important that you pay keen attention to the tone and level of vibrations surrounding you, and seek to remain in good vibes. Start and rate your vibes by how they affect you in all situations, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being positive, that leaves you feeling energetic, light-hearted, and relaxed, 1 being negative, vibes that leave you feeling drained, uneasy and insecure, not yourself. Scan all situations for a vibe check, from the restaurant you enter, to the new car you are considering buying, to the hotel room you pay for. If the vibes feel good, carry on, if not, move to higher ground. You don't have to explain your vibes to trust them: a good vibe is a good vibe, and a bad vibe is a bad vibe. Feeling it is reason enough to trust it. Aim to keep your experience at 7 or above on the good scale, and if you are in a less than 7 situation,and cannot move to higher ground, use the other tools in this deck to protect and strengthen your aura.
J: what that makes me think of , is the conversation we were having with Chris ... the idea of moving to higher ground if the vibes are bad ... it's like trying to talk with her and have a proper conversation with her ... she's stone-walling me, being very masculine, confrontational, stone-walling, and I'm detecting that, and what I do is become very concise in what I'm saying, I become ever more ... intellecually, I move to ever more higher ground. I become ... much ... I become very logical, very concise, very brief ... in a sense, just the harder she tries, the higher ground I move to ... and I guess that's where Yojimbo would come in, because if she did actually attack, I'd probably pull the sword and ... and I'd cut her ... I'd pull something out of the hat and cut her .... there have been plenty of demonstration that I can do that if I need to ... but, in the first instance, when I get bad vibes from somebody, it doesn't shut me up, it just makes me move to a much more detached, cold, logical ... that's it, cold, higher ground again, cold, less oxygen, it makes me very brief, very cold, very logical, very detached ...and ... and I guess ... which is interesting in connection with the female .... (reading next card) ... 6 of AIR: CLARITY ..... of course, clarity, that's what I do.
S: the higher up you go the clearer the air.
J: yes, and when I express myself very concisely like that, it is very clear.
S: observatories are high up.
J: yes ... yes .. you get a perspective on things. I guess you ... what you're doing for yourself, too, is you're detaching yourself from the situation so you're not getting involved in it. You're actually lifting yourself out of that confrontation by doing that. I guess that's what's happening. And, so, you're kind of like ... you're becoming ... you're lifting yourself out of any sort of angry response because that is what she's ... y'know ... trying to provoke, in a sense, a fight ... and you're actually getting a clear perspective on what is going on. Um ... yeah ... your observing ... you move into detached, observational mode, and you just ... their emotional shenanigans don't affect you. So you're just lifting yourself completely out of the ... yeah ... Right! And underneath that is THE RAVEN (next card)
S: (reading) MAGIC
J: "nevermore, quoth the raven".
S: 'throughout time the raven has carried the medicine of magic. This is true of many cultures across the planet. It is sacred to honour raven as the bringer of magic. If the magic is bad medicine the bearer may be honoured out of fear rather than respect. Those who fear raven do so because they have been dabbling in areas of which they have no knowledge, and a spell may have back-fired on them. Rather than analyzing the dark side of sorcery, realise that you will fear raven only if you have to learn about your inner fears or self-created demons. If you have chosen raven, magic is in the air. Do not try to figure it out, you cannot. It is the power of the unknown at work, and something special is about to happen. The deeper mystery, however, is how you will respond to the sparkling synchronicity of this alchemical moment. Will you recognise it and use it to further your growth. It may be time to call raven as a courier to carry an intention, some healing energy, a thought or a message' .... well, I suppose that's what's behind that ... ah ... meditation ... images ... VISION QUESTS ... is it not about sending messages? ... 'carry some healing energy, a thought or a message.'
J: vision quests are usually entered into in the hopes of getting answers to questions ... you're ... the idea of shamanic journeys and vision quests, generally, is that the shaman, or whoever, goes off on a journey and contacts his, or a, spirit who can help him ...
S: to contact him he has to give him the question.
J: you take the question with you. I mean, normally you go into the vision quest and you go off and you sort of like, meet the spirit, and you just ask the spirit questions, and it gives you the answers, or whatever ... that sort of thing.
S: well, the words you were suggesting one used in the meditation were, eh, ... 'please help me' ... or something like that .... so you're actually asking.
J: oh, yeah. That was like, um ...
S: so you're not actually asking a question. You're telling the Que what you want help with.
J: Ah!
S: 'the raven is the patron saint of smoke signals, or spirit messages. A courier to carry an intention.
J: well, certainly. I mean, as relates to shamanic journeys ... a lot of shamanic journeys are very much around going to the spirit and saying 'what should I do now?', or 'where should I be going?' or whatever, rather than you going and saying, 'this is what I want to do, Sunny Jim. Help me!' Y'know .... traditionally ... shamanic journeys don't recognise that choices are your own. Your there to tell the spirits, not the spirits to tell you, in a sense. Yeah, you ask questions and things, you know, 'why has this happened?', 'what's the meaning of this?' blah, blah, blah ... but your not there to ask them how to live your life. It's you that's there to tell them want kind of life you want and how to live etc etc. ... so, in that sense, carrying your intention to them rather than traditional shamanic ... who assumes ... sort of like, there's some path laid out for you in life and you've got to follow it, so the spirits can tell you where your path leads ... so ... there definitely isn't ... there's that weakness in traditional shamanism. Right!
S: (next card) SHAMAN.
J: he's got a wolf for a friend.(looking at design of card)
S: (reading) 'Wisdom. Relates to the hierophant' ... whoever that was, I can't remember ... 'wisdom, transcendence, intuition, deep knowledge of underlying forces, clear insight into recurring cycles, supernatural talents, other-worldly, extra-sensory visions.'
J: well, I suppose what's going through my head with this is ... I mean ... that raven thing said something about magic and stuff, and then we were talking about how I respond to people who .... and I become very concise and go high. Well, at that point, they can't keep up with you. And you're moving ... you come out with things as if by magic ... you seem to be using magic because they can't see how you're getting from ... y'know ... you're making leaps of logic which they can't ... you lose them ... and what you do, the way you can understand and pick things up appears to be magical, and of course, using intuition appears to be magic as well. So, y'know, there's a lot of stuff here that relates to magic in the sense that your doing things that other people can't see how you're doing it, and it seems like magic. And, of course, intuition works that way ... and ... and, ah ... also, that idea of getting up above things, you can see things other people can't see and they don't know how you can see it. Y'know ... you can see things .... you can home in on things ... and they find it terrible alarming, because you seem to be able to spot things in what they say they didn't want you to spot, and things. There's a whole world of magic there that baffles people...
S: 'the inner message: the shaman within you is capable of merging his intuitive perseption with the wisdom of the elders. Meditate and find out what really motivates you, what your inner core truely desires.'
J: what's going through my mind there ... merging ... what was it?
S: '..merging merging his intuitive perseption with the wisdom of the elders.'
J: yes, so ... in a world without spirits, and the rest of it, wisdom you'd say, comes from experience. But when you have access to the spirits and stuff, ... which operates through intuition, of course ... you're using that as well, and that doesn't rely on your own experience just. It relies on other things, like, y'know, the Que and stuff, so ... I guess that too is magic. Again, knowing things that other people don't know how you know them. And so it's that idea of merging your own experience with what intuitively comes from the Que and stuff.
S: 'shift your attention to what is essential. Most essential in your life is your own being. Without knowing the true essence of your being your heart will always remain empty and disatisfied. Without recognition of who you are, without inwardly awakening to that, you stumble like a drunkard through a maze of meaningless limitations.'
J: yes, ha, ha,ha!
S: they know about meaningless limitations! They're experts at that at that school! ... I'm sure academics are ...
J: yeah, well, it is meaningless in the sense that ... meaningless in all sorts of senses ... people who just read things from books and just memorise it and think that's the way the world works without actually fiinding out from their own experience, or from intuition or anything else. So, it's kind of that world where you're kind of like ... a mind that runs on tram lines ... it's just meaningless.
S: 'Take the time and whatever space you need to explore your inner being. For that you don't have to go anywhere. Outward manifestation:' ... that was inward ... 'outward: much of what feels no longer right for you is ready to leave or fall away. Be thankful. You may have to go through the pain of disillusionment, but that is, in fact, your liberation. If you want to awaken to reality no spiritual entertainment technique can help you. It's time to face yourself.'
J: that just seems like all we were talking about yesterday. about, y'know, recognising that so many of your feelings and stuff are conditioned and false and you need to get rid of them. And that's getting to your true self. And without, of course, getting to your true self, life is just meaningless, and ... y'know ... if your feelings are not really your own, you don't really know what you like and dislike and everything, you just totally ... jumbled up world.
S: (next card)'sleep on it'. ... that's dreams again, isn't it?
J: mmm
S: or meditation, or whatever. (reading)'when your emotions get stirred up and work overtime they block access to your higher awareness. At times like this, do not struggle for answers. Instead, step away from your problem, and, literally, put your worries to bed.' ... of course, that's getting rid of negative thoughts as well.
J: yes ... puting your worries to bed ... puting them out ... go away!
S: 'surrender your concerns to higher forces while you slumber, and invite your psychic support system to find solutions to your challenges and place them directly into your subconscious mind to be accessed the minute you wake up. The process is practicle 6th sensory living. Your guides love to work on your behalf. So relax, grab a pillow, and give your emotions a well-deserved break. Sweet dreams.'
(Turns over next card. It's blank) well, that's deciding who you are, that blank card.
J: I guess so. The unwritten story.
S: or: you don't know who you are.
J: in some sense I think it also relates to the idea that ... um ... there's a kind of male thing where you set yourself specific goals. And then there's natural growth, where you don't really know quite where you're going, but you, you just ... y'know ... you're working on intuition all the time, you're living within an environment, so ... in a sort of vague way, you know things you want ... like you want to be free, you want to be independent, you want to go to America, but you don't actually set these as a goal and drive for it. You, in fact, you hand over your goals to the Que and say, 'that's where I want to go', and then you get on with your daily life, knowing that you're going to get there eventually. So, in a sense, your future is much more of an open book, rather than a .... well, there, there, and tomorrow there and .... y'know ... anyway .... that's the best I can do on that one.
S: 9 of earth.
J: ...ACCUMULATION.
S: Fruits of the earth! 9 of earth. (reading) 'Fortune, material enterprises, inheritance, gain, a series of lucky strokes and gifts. Inner message: the saying 'it fell into my lap' exactly illustrates this card. For once you have allowed yourself to receive a lot more, and, better still, to enjoy it all without guilt. Now take what the universe is giving you without the least bit of regret.'
J: that seems to me to just follow on from that blank card where you're saying ... you're not setting yourself specific goals, but you're saying,'I want to get there' ... and then you're living your daily life, and it's sort of up to the Que to get you there ... and, um ... that is the root of abundance, because you don't just want to get to America, you want all sorts of other things as well. And if you focus entirely ... if you go down the road of focusing entirely on America ... y'know ... the Que's trying to give you all sorts of other goodies, but you're just ignoring them because you're focused there, your blinkered, so by blinkering yourself, and focusing on a specific goal like that, you miss all the abundance that ... that is potentially there, so I think that's .... I would ...
S: 'outward manifestation: this is a great time to give priority to business and material concerns. You are able to take an important, and ultimately successful step when it comes to investment, studies or career change. Life is showering some surprising gifts on you. Don't waste time. Gratefully receive, and ask not why or whence it came. What is given like this can never be earned. In reality, everything in life is a gift.'
J: then, of course, you're into another thing about 'gift horses in the mouth' and stuff ... which I did a blog on yesterday. And 'how not to do it'. It follows on from all this negative stuff. I mean, we're taught to look gift-horses in the mouth, we're taught to be critical, and if you do that you kill things. Y'know, that idea .... and it goes with religious ideas about 'thanking God for what he gives you'. It's the idea that instead of looking for the negatives in something you look for the positives. If you look for the negatives you kill something, and if you look for the positives you see the beauty in it. Everything ... our world is so complex that everything has got good points and bad points, Evolution works that way too. The world progresses by evolution selecting the best bits and moving them forward and the bad bits just get dropped. Your own mind needs the same thing, it needs to be able to see the good in things, to be able to pick out the good in things and then it can progress forwards towards the next development phase, or whatever ... and if you just .... really ... it moves on from this, this business of where we've been there, and says, once you've freed yourself from all that kind of accumulated, conditioned, negative stuff, you don't want to aquire any more on your own behalf, so you want to move into a world where you just ignore negatives. You don't look for criticisms, you look for what's good in things, because there's something good everywhere, and then you're into LIFE instead of DEATH, and you're into growth and evolution, and all that.
S: DECIDE (reading) 'Two of the most powerful words to raise your vibration and gain support of your celestial forces are 'I decide'. The moment you truely decide on a particular goal and fully commit to a course of action , the universe can step up to assist you. But, until you decide, the only thing the universe and all your divine support systems can do is respect your free will and patiently wait. Not even your angel or guides can over-ride your lack of decision. Once your intention is set, however, all sources of higher power are ready, willing and able to assist you.
J: I guess that relates back to the raven and stuff, that idea of intention, where, like with this ... if you've been brought up in our world you've been brought up to be a critic. So, suddenly to turn round and look for the good in things is quite ... y'know ... it's not an ability you have naturally. You haven't developed it. And your mind will still be trying to find critical things, so you have to make ... a ... quite ... a totally intellectual decision! 'I'm going to look for the good things.' Now, it's healthy to look for the good things, but the Que can't make you look for the good things if you don't want to. So, in that sense .... make the decision that you want to look for the good things, the Que can then back you up, give you the abilities and support you and all that kind of stuff. That's what that seems to me to be about. So, that relates to intention .... you need to have ... you need to have the intention .... and I guess ... I guess that's the human role, as it were ... it's that old idea of God, y'know, this image of what you have to be and you have to aspire to be that. And, kind of, you get spanked if you don't do the right thing, and all that ... y'know ... but of course ... in fact, it's more like the Que will support you whatever you do, or rather, it won't oppose you, because ... it is a natural process and has to be a natural process ... and it can't be directed anymore than the evolution of the world can be directed. Agian, it has to rely on a sort of slow growth process, a moving forward process and .... growth is not directed ... you see what I'm saying? (S nods) oh,good. right!
S: THE WEASEL. 'Stealth. Weasel fur changes colour with the seasons. Silent weasel has many lessons to teach you. Weasel has an incredible amount of energy and ingenuity. It's a difficult power totem to have. It is not without significance that a weasel pelt is worn by royalty. Weasel ears hear what is really being said. Look to weasel power to tell you the hidden reasons behind anything. Some people are put off by weasel medicine, talent and abilities, but there are no bad medicines. We all have power or we would not be here to heal mother earth. Perhaps if you have weasel power you could use your secret gifts for the good of all. Observe who or what needs attention or a solution and offer your assistance in your own quiet or discreet way.' ... it seems to be about keeping quiet, or watching ... ' you may be a loner, hiding yourself away, perhaps even a recluse. You are a powerful ally to have in any business organisation since you can see what the competition is doing. People may make a great mistake in sizing you up because they do not immediately see your power. But the first time they try to outsmart you they'll soon learn that your intelligence is greater than their own.'
J: that seems to me to relate to what we were talking aboutbefore, and about dealing with Chris and moving to higher ground and clarity and all the rest of it. And, of course, you don't give away what you know either. I mean, in that conversation with Chris I knew perfectly well what she was about but I never once told her, or suggested that I might know what she was about. But if I ... that's probably what ... when you're talking about, um ... it came up there somewhere ... if she had pushed the thing, I would have gone into the attack. That's possibly what I would have done .... I would have come out with, y'know ... with something that would have let her know I knew exactly what she was about in some way or other .... or I would have ... I mean it's more than knowing what she's about ... it's knowing what she values, it's knowing her weaknesses and stuff, it's knowing where I could cut hard and she would feel it ... y'know ... so it's much more precise than just knowing that she's being masculine and confrontational, it's not just that ... it's being much, much more precise than that ... that's Yojimbo with the sword ... going for the heart and things ....
S: the heart of the matter.
J: yeah. So ...um ... it makes me think of that card we had the other day with the broken heart ... we couldn't quite figure the rose ...
S: oh yeah.
J: .. that's the same sort of thing, going for the ... you have the potential ... to ... go ... and people don't know it of course, that's the weasel, keeping quiet about it, you don't bring it out unless you have to. But, of course, it's a very, kind of ... it should make you very confident, of course, if one knows one can do it. Again ... again ... that's the result of all this being feminine, having a feminine side and things. And, of course, you wouldn't do it routinely anyway. There wouldn't be a point.
S: Last pile! 4 of earth. 'SECURITY. Position of power. Influence through money. Striving for security and success. Desire for lasting stability, law and order. Also, misuse of power. Inner message: be aware of how much material security you really need in your life and what this security means to you. What is it that inwardly makes you feel safe? What is needed now to stabalise you emotionally. If you let yourself fall into your own depth you realise that true security always comes from inside.
J: I guess that's quite straight forward in a sense ... that's what we were saying about weaseling ... if you're totally confident in yourself ... I mean, I guess under most circumstances, that's what gets between folk and the material possessions they desire. Y'know ... I mean, even if the Que offers you opportunities, if you don't have the confidence to take them ... y'know ... so in a sense confidence probably preceeds the material benefits that the universe or the Que has to put in your way, because ... yeah ..
S: 'outward manifestation: now you can reveal your influence on certain matters and step out from behind the scenes, but don't forget that outward creations or power demonstrations merely grant an illusory sense of security. Accepting our absolute insecurity is the only way to feel safe. So learn to rest on apparent insecurity, begin to recognise the unchanging power in every change, every new and different situation. In this welcoming acceptance you find security that knows no change.
J: yeah, somewhere in there was something about speaking out and being confident, which both of us are doing right now ... and in our ... getting into right now in our different ways ... some of us more willingly than others! (reading next card) 'exercise your vibes'.
S: (reading) 'There's too much static in the air to move ahead right now. Get back to the earth and get grounded. I mean, sweat! A good dose of physical exercise...'
J: too much static in the air .... that means you're not going ... you've stagnated, you've stopped. Mind you, I do feel electified sometimes, too, it's kind of like ... well ... .like when I'm talking to chris ... it's positively electifying ...
S: 'a good dose of physical exercise gets your energy flowing in one direction: upwards, to higher levels of vibration and keeps you from getting in your own way. Your brain is working overtime and your spirit has been spotted leaving the premises of your body. By exercising the body you quiet the overactive mind, chatter, and call your spirit back. Only then can you begin to hear your angels and guides.'
J: I just ... instantly what went through my head there .... all this business about speaking out is actually about being able to express yourself. And if you can't, then something is blocked inside. All this noise is accumulating inside, which means you can't hear ... so it's not just a matter of 'it's good to be confident' and it's good to be this, that and the other, it's actually ... it's damaging if you can't speak freely.
S: that's about it, really.
J: THE BEAR. Finally, and ...
S: (reading) 'INTROSPECTION.'
J: well certainly that's what we were saying about clearing the air inside. There's no point in introspecting when all you hear is the darn noise of all the stuff you can't express.
S: (reading)'Bear medicine is the power of introspection. It lies in the west of the great medicine wheel of life. Bear seeks honey or the sweetness of truth within the hollow of an old tree. In the winter, when the ice queen reigns and the face of death is upon the world, bear enters the womb-cave to hibernate, to digest the years experience. To accomplish the goals and dreams we carry the act of introspection is necessary. Bear is in the west, the intuitive side of the right brain. To hibernate, bear travels to the cave which is in the centre of the 4 lobes where the pineal gland resides. In the cave bear seeks answers while he/she is dreaming or hibernating. Bear is then re-born in the spring like the opening of spring flowers. For aeons all seekers of the dream time and of visions have walked the path of silence, calming the internal chatter ....'
J: ah, I'm beginning to connect the bear with what we've been talking about with vision quests as being the direction forwards ... and I guess ... yeah, I mean, all this stuff about bad vibes ... try going on vision quests when you've got all that negative stuff in your head and you end up psychotic, basically ... and you end up like my pal, who ... most people I've encoutered who've had schizophrenia have ahd paranoid schizophrenia, and that ... that's all the voices ... if you want to go on a vision quest get rid of all that lot before you go ... and, of course, as I say, I think vision quests are the way forward ... the dream time.
S: well, that's it.

In Praise of Sc-Fi and Fantasy

I have three blogspots on the go at the moment:

joan-blethers.blogspot.com

joan-dreams.

joan-well.

That made sense at the time, because the things I wanted to talk about seemed to fall into 3 distinct categories. But now there are other things I want to talk about, so I am faced with a choice: do I start more blogs, or do I just muddle the blogs I've got? Well, in view of all I have been saying, that latter makes sense.

Life is much too complex to be contained within a filing cabinet. Understanding life is less about tables, and classifications, and neat, linear logic, and more about jig-saw puzzles --- ie building pictures, and, ultimately, people. In the words of the bard (Robert Burns, if your not a Scot): 'The man's the gowd, for aw that!' (gowd=gold; aw=all) Or, as Terry Gilliam so beautifully portrayed, the person is the Fifth Essence ---

and that brings me to the subject of this blog: Science Fiction and Fantasy (and not forgetting, definitely not forgetting Magic Realism.) And, now that I think of it, I should add: Surrealism. In fact, all those 'not-quite-to-be-taken-seriously', 'not-to-be-classed-with-Shakespeare' branches of our culture, or, at least, the ones that are more akin to THE TEMPEST than HAMLET, or HENRY V.

The thing is that you find a deeper, subtler realism in fantasy. In the words of Wilfred Owen: Truths that lie too deep for taint. Take that poem itself: STRANGE MEETING. In it, the writer eescapes the noise of battle by going down a tunnel --- how are we to understand that? Wilfred Owen escapes the noise of battle by going underground --- (understand, that the process of interpreting writing is like that of interpreting dreams: it is alway about the writer). So, Owen in the trenches, like everyone else, had need to escape, and, in Owen's case, he 'does something secretive.' That is usually what 'going underground' means. So, in the manly world of the trenches, did Owen write poetry openly, for all to see, it did he do it in secret. And, even if he did do it openly, did the people he mixed with know that it was anti-war poetry?

But the metaphorical war that the poem really deals with is likely to be the kind of war that every writer experiences: that between what you really want to write/write about and what society will approve of. And, when Owen goes underground, he meets a man he killed some time ago --- yes, well most people make the choice early in life, to aspire to be Shakespeare rather than themselves, so they 'kill' 'themselves'. The friend Owen finds underground, is some part of himself that he killed off in the past --- that rediscovery probably explains the marked difference between the poetry Owen wrote before the war and what he wrote during the war, and I would suggest that the war did him that favour, that it induced him to rediscover something that was truer to himself, and which therefore, gave new life to his writing.

And then there is old Colridge, who suffered from depression --- need I say more about the origins the THE ANCIENT MARINER? More interesting, is the mysterious KUBLA KHAN:

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree

Where Alph, the sacred river ran --" etc etc

Supposedly it was written under the influence of opium --- but that just means it was written without the conscious imposition of what the conscious mind sees as a satisfactory representation of reality. In other words, it was unadulterated dream --- ie fantasy, Sci-Fi, Magic Realism, Surrealism --.

As I said above, it is about the poet, and the problems of the poet. So, go through that poem again, but this time think about the problems faced by someone who has a self that want to write, and has truths to tell, but who also lacks the self-confidence to defy society, and so generates within themselves another